


To See You Through the Night

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Fix-It, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Season 3, post-New Caprica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the New Caprica rescue, Bill reaches out to Saul, in an attempt to understand what his friend went through. Meanwhile, Saul gets in over his head in his search for justice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for bromancestory. I've always been heartbroken by that scene on the hangar deck where the crowd pulls Bill away before he can talk to Saul. This is an AU where that doesn't happen. Thanks to fragrantwoods for betaing and the members of bsg_checkin for their helpful encouragement in getting this done.
> 
> [Art by nickygabriel](http://nickygabriel.livejournal.com/658712.html)

The cacophony on the hangar deck should have been distracting. There were tearful reunions and celebrations left and right, but Bill was only focused on one thing. 

_Where was he?  
_  
Bill waved off some crewmembers trying to pull him into their celebration. He was only distantly aware of the voices chanting his name. 

If Saul hadn't made it…

No. There he was.

For a moment, Bill froze. Saul almost looked like a different person. He had a bandage over his right eye, and a heavier beard than Bill had ever seen on him. He was leaning heavily on a cane and looked older than Bill had ever seen him. 

Then, whatever it was that had been holding him back evaporated and he pushed forward, brushing aside the congratulations of his crew. There would be a time for that later. He had more important things to do right now.

"Hey," he said, jumping up on the Raptor. "Let me help you."

"No, no, I can do it," Saul muttered, but Bill didn't quite believe that. Saul grasped Bill's arm and together, they took a wobbly step down to the deck.

"I've got you," Bill said, rubbing Saul's back. 

Saul stood there stiffly, like he didn't want anything to do with what Bill had to say, but he made no move to get away.

"You did it," Bill continued, oblivious to the action going on around him. "You brought them home."

Saul's shoulders went stiff under Bill's hand. "Not all of them," he said in a low voice. 

The absence of a certain person hit Bill suddenly.

"Saul," he murmured. His friend looked at him with a wounded expression. 

"Let's go," Bill added, giving Saul's arm a gentle tug. "Your quarters are ready and waiting. All your stuff's still there."

Saul said nothing, but he fell into step beside Bill. 

"Or we could go to mine," Bill continued, wordlessly offering Saul his arm when they came to the stairs. Saul waved it off in favor of gripping both railings and let Bill take the cane for him. "You want to talk? Have a drink? Relax some?"

"Drink sounds good."

It took considerably longer than usual to get back to Bill's quarters; they had to keep stopping every so often so Saul could pause to get his knee in order. 

"They frakked me up good," he said, stretching it. "You remember this was the one I always had problems with."

Bill nodded. He remembered Saul being in a bad Viper crash in a training run. It had taken months of rehab to get him back on his feet and whenever he was tired, he would start hobbling ever so slightly. He didn't dare ask what it was the Cylons had done to him. He had sense enough to realize Saul wouldn't want to talk about that.

When Bill got the hatch open, Saul stumbled over to the couch and collapsed. 

"You need anything?" Bill asked.

It took a moment before Saul lifted his head. He looked utterly exhausted. "I might have a shower, if you can spare your head. I don't really feel like going in with the general population right about now."

"Of course. Anytime." Bill busied himself then, preparing soap and a towel, setting things up the way Saul liked them. 

"You need anything else?" he asked, as Saul stepped into the head. He knew he was hovering, but he was still worried, if he was honest with himself. Saul'd barely spoken ten words and Bill just wanted a glimpse, no matter how small, of the old Saul, to show that whatever had happened to him down there hadn't irrevocably changed him.

"Don't think so." Saul didn't even wait for Bill to close the hatch before he started stripping. Bill swallowed hard when he saw the jagged red scars crisscrossing Saul's back. 

What had the Cylons done to him? 

Reluctantly, he slid the hatch closed before Saul could notice he was gawking at him. 

He wasn't sure whether to go back to Saul's quarters to get him something of his own to wear or to just give him something of his own. He decided it would be best just to let Saul wear Bill's things—he knew they were clean and comfortable and deliberately selected a favorite old T-shirt and sweats with _Valkyrie_ patches that he knew would make Saul feel at ease. 

He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do with himself before heading over to the comm to call Laura.

"You all settled?" he asked her when she answered.

"As settled as I'm going to get tonight. Oh, Bill, it's so good to hear your voice."

"You, too. You should get some rest."

"Why are you keeping your voice down? Is someone there?"

Bill rubbed his mustache. "Yeah," he said, pitching his voice even softer. "Saul."

"Oh." Laura made a quiet noise of realization. "Is he…?"

"He's okay," Bill said. "He's just in the shower."

"Mm." He could tell Laura knew something she wasn't telling him and it took all he had not to ask. 

"He's looked better," Bill told her, on the off chance that this would spark her to say something. "But I figure the important thing's that we got you all off of there."

"Yeah," she said. "You did. You did a wonderful job, Bill."

Truthfully, he didn't _feel_ like he'd done a wonderful job. He was worried about Saul. "Things are going to start to get back to normal now," he said, more to himself than to her. 

He wasn't sure how much he believed it.

When Saul came out of the head, he was dressed in the clothes Bill had left for him. Since they were Bill's, they were a little big, but Saul didn't seem to care—at least, he didn't ask for Bill to retrieve some of his own clothes for him. 

Bill got a start when he realized Saul had taken the bandage off his eye. It really _was_ missing, nothing but a gaping black hole, surrounded by red, angry skin. He swallowed hard but tried not to let his shock show on his face, tried to focus on the eye Saul still had. 

"Can you give me a hand with this?" Saul asked, holding out the bandage. He looked just as nervous as Bill felt. "It's kind of hard to do in the mirror…" 

"Sure, sure." Bill took the clean gauze from him (he wondered how clean _anything_ Saul had in his bag really was but he didn't say anything) and taped it over his eye as gently as possible.

"There's a salve Doc gave me to rub on it but I don't have it," he said gruffly, as Bill smoothed the tape over the red, irritated skin. "I'll get some more from him later."

"Okay." Bill didn't want to bother Saul by acknowledging his… injury… but he also didn't want to act like everything was normal—that would be just as wrong, wouldn't it? 

"Mind if I crash here?" Saul asked, before Bill had a chance to voice his thoughts. 

"Not at all." Bill indicated his rack. "Right here's fine."

Saul nodded and plodded toward Bill's rack. "Sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not." Bill stepped forward and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Saul gave a barely-perceptible flinch and Bill withdrew his hand quickly. "I'll be here," he said. Saul nodded and climbed into bed. Bill turned out the lights and headed for the couch.

**

Saul woke to pain in what seemed like every muscle in his body. He sat up slowly, wincing. Bill was hovering nearby, looking worried, and that was when everything came rushing back. 

"Hey," Bill said, approaching him cautiously. "How do you feel?"

Saul wasn't sure how to answer that. He felt terrible, but he didn't really want to admit that to Bill. "I feel okay," he said, hauling himself to his feet, finally having worked up the courage to try standing. "Felt better but this ain't the worst." He looked down at his clothes, Bill's clothes. The hem of the T-shirt was frayed where Bill liked to fool with it. Saul rubbed the spot with his thumb.

Bill nodded, but he had that frown he always got when he knew Saul was lying. Which, of course, he was. But he wasn't ready to tell Bill everything—especially not _that_. He could hardly admit it to himself—he definitely didn't want all his troubles laid bare for Bill right now. 

Saul swallowed hard. "What time is it?"

"0900." 

"Slept late, did I?" Saul rubbed his chin, reminding himself that he needed to shave—or maybe he didn't. Maybe he'd keep the beard, at least for a while. "Well, it's back to work, I guess?"

"If you're ready. You can take a few days. Take as long as you like, Saul."

Saul nodded. He knew Bill meant well, but what Saul really wanted to do was be alone, curl up with a bottle and just plain frakking _forget_. He stuck his hands in his pockets and headed for the hatch. 

"I'll be here," Bill said, and somehow it was comforting, rather than being annoying. "If you want to talk or anything, I'll be right here. Told them I'd stay in and take care of billeting assignments today. Looks like a lot of our civilian guests will be permanent"

Saul nodded. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere either."

He was halfway to his quarters before he realized he was still dressed in Bill's clothes.

**

Being in his quarters reminded him of Ellen, so he bypassed them, going for a walk instead. He knew he must've been quite the sight, the (former?) XO of the ship wandering _Galactica_ 's corridors like a confused old man. He knew the crew should have noticed him, but no one stopped him, or said anything. He supposed he blended in with the civvies and he let that thought entertain him as he wandered for gods knew how long. 

H stopped dead when he rounded a corner and nearly ran into Bill. 

"You went for a walk." It wasn't a question.

Saul shrugged. "That's my right." How long had it been, anyway? It felt like just a few minutes but it was probably a couple of hourse.

"I know," Bill said. "You just said you weren't going anywhere. When you weren't in your quarters, I thought…"

"What?"

"Nothing." The look on Bill's face told him everything, though. 

"You want me to get back in uniform?"

"You don't have to." He noticed Bill lift his hand as if to touch him, but it dropped back down to his side. "Whenever you're ready, Saul, there's a spot for you in CIC."

Saul nodded. 

"You want some company?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I think I'm just going to keep walking."

"Okay. I'll bring dinner by at around 1700. That okay?" Implicit in that was the fact that he didn't get to decide it wasn't okay, Bill would be bringing dinner by at 1700 and if Saul wasn't there, there'd be trouble. 

Saul wanted to hate that, but he knew, underneath the frustration and the pain, that this was just Bill being his worrywart self. He didn't know what had happened, he was probably filling in all the worst possibilities. 

"That's fine," he said.

Saul's feet carried him further down the decks, away from his quarters and CIC. As he got nearer the engines, the hum got louder and a wave of comfort washed over him. He loved being XO, and he'd gotten used to it, but after all this time, he still liked to come down here to the hangar deck and feel like he was part of the crew. 

He sat down on an overturned bucket someone had left. 

"Colonel?"

He turned and saw Chief Tyrol coming up behind him. "You okay, sir?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Saul stuck his hands in the pockets of his sweats. "You settling in all right? How're Cally and Nick?"

"They're fine." Tyrol dragged another bucket over and sat. "I can't say we're exactly settling in. It's… hard, you know? Never thought we'd be back here."

"Well, we are, so you'd better get used to it." Saul hadn't meant to sneer, but he did. _He_ hadn't wanted to leave, it had been Ellen and Bill pressuring him to go down to the planet. Saul would never have left if it had been up to him. Maybe if he hadn't, Ellen would still be alive—she'd have been smart enough to stay out of the Cylons' way, and without him there, she wouldn't have died… 

"I know. We will." Tyrol was staying unfocused at a spot on the wall and Saul stared, too. "I need to get the deck gang all sorted again—about half of them mustered out, plus people from _Pegasus_. At least Laird's there to help, but he's not military; he has no clue what's happening sometimes."

Saul smirked and together, they shared a laugh. They'd both been in the military most of their lives. Neither of them knew much of anything else except for their brief sojourn into civilian life on New Caprica.

They were silent for a long while, before Chief said quietly, "I hate it, you know? We don't know who was NCP. Could've been anyone. Any of these people walking around our hangar deck, CIC—it could've been these frakkers who were rounding up people, taking them to be shot. Doing the Cylons' bidding…"

Saul rested his chin on his hands. "Gotta be a way to figure that out." The idea sounded attractive to him, too. He didn't know how to do it, though.

"Maybe." Tyrol sounded skeptical, like he was already off the idea. "Guess I better get back to work. You take care of yourself, sir."

"You, too, Chief." 

Tyrol got up and they clasped hands, a brief look passing between them. Tyrol understood, on a level even Bill, Saul's best friend, never would. He got it.

"Chief? Colonel?"

They both turned at the sound of Seelix's voice. 

"What is it, Diana?" Tyrol asked.

She cast her eyes to the side. "Passing on a message. Meeting tonight at 2100 on the hangar deck."

"Yeah?" Saul crossed his arms over his chest. "And who's this message from?"

"I heard it from Charlie Connor, but he wouldn't say." She paused. "It's just resistance people. Just us."

Saul and Tyrol exchanged glances. 

"I'll be there," Saul finally said, before walking away. 

After all, he didn't have anything to lose.

**

He was dreading dinner with Bill, if only because he was afraid Bill might make him _talk_ about things. He didn't want to talk; he wanted to _forget_. Every time his eye—no, the space where his eye had _been_ —throbbed, he wanted to forget. 

Throughout the meal, Bill kept trying to engage him in conversation, but Saul brushed him off. He could see Bill was distressed and part of him felt guilty but it wasn't enough to make him not push his oldest friend away. 

He put it out of his mind, though, when 2100 came. 

The hangar deck was deserted when he got there, save a small clump of refugees from New Caprica standing by the door of the tool room.

"You're the last one, Colonel," Seelix said, when he approached them. "Let's go inside."

Everyone else seemed to know what was going on, but Tyrol was shooting him confused looks. Saul shook his head at him to indicate he didn't know what was going on, either.

Once the hatch was shut, the first to speak was Charlie Connor. 

"You're all here for a reason," he said, eyes flicking around the room. Saul began to take in who was here—all were members of the resistance: Anders, Tyrol and Barolay. "You all know what it is. Now, a few of us have been talking and we don't feel that there's an understanding among the _others_." His meaning here was plain.

"We all lost something on New Caprica," Seelix cut in. "The Cylons are responsible… and those who _collaborated_ with the Cylons."

Saul felt a chill run through him. They didn't mean Ellen, did they? She was dead; what good did it do to keep talking about it? 

Charlie leaned over and opened the hatch. "You can come in now, Mister President."

When he heard the name, Saul stiffened, but that didn't prepare him for the sight of Tom Zarek walking in. 

"Good evening," Zarek said. He took a seat on a crate and motioned for the rest to do the same. As Saul slowly lowered himself onto a trolley, he wondered if he even wanted to hear anything Tom Zarek had to say. 

He supposed he could give him a chance, though. It was definitely true that those who hadn't been on New Caprica—like Bill—didn’t understand, could never understand, what it was like for those who'd been through the ordeal. He hated to admit it, but it was almost like he had more in common with _Zarek_ than with his best friend.

"I can understand if some of you are skeptical of what I have to say here." Zarek brought his hands together and looked around the room at everyone, saving the longest look for Saul. "I'm fully aware that I don't have a lot of time left in this office, but while I have it, there is power the Articles of Colonization reserves to the office of the President that I would like to employ at this time." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. He seemed to hesitate on whom to pass it to, but his gaze finally settled on Saul. "Would you read this for us, Colonel?"

Saul cleared his throat. It was printed on official Colonial stationary with the Presidential seal, like some of the orders he'd seen on Bill's desk. 

"With the power invested in me by the Office of the President of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, I, Thomas Zarek, hereby authorize the creation of a tribunal to try suspected Cylon collaborators under Article 286.2 of the Colonial Justice Codes, hereafter called 'The Circle.' The Circle, as defined by Article 284 of the Colonial Justice Codes, will operate in a manner identical to Circles at civilian trials, having six members, but as defined in Section XII of the Colonial Fleet Regulations, it will have no judge. The six will be composed of at least two civilians and at least two members of the Colonial Fleet, one of whom will be a senior officer…'" He stopped, lowering the paper. "Can I have a translation, please?" 

Zarek smiled. "I'm forming a group of people to review the cases of those suspected of collaborating with the Cylons on New Caprica. In particular, I know we're interested in tracking down members of the New Caprica Police, but I'm sure there are other cases we've missed." He regarded Saul for a long moment. "As you've heard, I need a senior military officer to preside in lieu of a judge. Are you interested?"

Saul snorted. "If I'm not, who do you go for? Ain't too many senior officers left and none of 'em were on New Caprica." 

Zarek's smile didn't change. 

Saul looked at the others. Connor looked eager for him to accept; Anders looked unsure. Tyrol's expression was unreadable. 

"Yeah." Saul tossed the paper back at Zarek. "Sure. I'll do it. What about the rest of you?"

One by one, they all nodded their assent, though Saul noted Anders was the last to do so. Zarek stood, offering Saul his hand. 

"Well, then, Colonel, I leave you as my official representative here. You are acting as an officer of the President."

Saul gave Zarek's hand a cursory shake. "Sir." 

"I'd like to remind you all that this Circle should remain quiet. I think you all already know that those who weren't there with us on New Caprica don't understand what it was like for us. This is a way for us to bring justice, for our own, with our own, within the bounds of the law. You're all doing good work." He shook hands with the other five and left.

No one spoke for several moments. Gradually, everyone turned to look at Saul. 

"Don't look at me," he muttered. "You organized this thing, Charlie."

Charlie shrugged. "I didn't know what he wanted."

"Twenty-four hours," Seelix said briskly. "In twenty-four hours, we meet back here. On your own time, make lists of people you think we should investigate." She shot Saul a hesitant look, as though she thought she might have overstepped her bounds. 

"That works for me," Saul said. He stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Dismissed."

**

That night, Saul went back to his own quarters, but he couldn't sleep. He lay awake in his rack, tossing and turning for three hours before he decided to give up. He plopped into his desk chair and stared down at the scuffed surface. He supposed he could read, but nothing he had on hand appealed to him. 

Or he could start making a list. 

The first name was hard, and Saul stared at the paper until his vision swam and he had to close his eye. Whose name could he possibly put forward as having worked with the Cylons? Those NCP bastards had all been wearing masks…

He frowned, twirling the pen between his fingers. He wasn't signing death warrants. These were just people they might consider investigating.

Peter Rand.

Peter Rand was a former deckhand on _Pegasus_ , who'd acted suspiciously down on the planet. He hadn't been in the resistance, but he'd gotten a look on his face sometimes when he looked at Saul that made him suspect Rand had been one of the guards when he was in detention.

It was a look of such _pity_ that it made Saul furious.

He scribbled Rand's name at the top of his page. Once he had one down, it got easier.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Bill came to see Saul after his first shift in CIC. When he opened the hatch, he could see Saul still in bed, covers over his head, turned to face the bulkhead.

"You planning to get up today?" Bill asked. 

"Yeah," Saul grunted. 

"Well, if you're going to, why don't you do it now? Got an appointment with Cottle."

Saul sat up, pulling the cover down. " _What_?"

"I asked Cottle if he'd see you. For your eye." As if that wasn't obvious. Bill could have kicked himself. "He can see you in five minutes."

"What if I don't go?"

Bill sighed. So, it was stubborn Saul today.

Who was he kidding? It had been stubborn Saul every day. 

"I'll carry you," Bill said sarcastically. He went around the room, gathering reasonably clean-looking clothes for Saul. He pulled together a getup that was half-uniform, half-civvie—the pants from Saul's fatigues and a gray sweater.

He tossed the clothes at him. "Get dressed."

His patience was wearing thin and while it didn't have anything to do with Saul, he was still sort of taking things out on him. There'd been an accident with the damn tanker ship this morning—they had less water to go around to all the civvies and they needed to find another source _now_. Not that any of this was Saul's fault, he realized guiltily, as he watched him pull the sweater on over his head without taking the bandage off.

"Come on," he said, a bit more gently, putting his hand on Saul's shoulder, but he was afraid the damage had already been done. "Go see Doc and then we'll have lunch, okay?" 

Saul just grunted.

**

Cottle said just what Saul had been expecting, not that he _wanted_ to hear it. He had to be careful with the eye he had left, blah, blah, blah. Saul had once been told his vision was technically better than 20/20; he'd be fine. 

That evening, he managed to shake Bill and join the others on the hangar deck. 

"Okay," he said firmly, once the hatch was shut. "Did everybody do their homework?"

There was some shifting and awkward glances.

"Yeah," Charlie finally said, withdrawing his from his jacket pocket and tossing it on the table. "Here it is."

Saul laid his list next to Charlie's and then, Seelix and Barolay followed. Sam and Tyrol didn't have lists, but Saul didn't care about that right now. Four were enough to coordinate.

"All right, let's have a seat." He pulled a stool over and eased himself onto it.

"So," Seelix said. "What do we do now?"

Saul rested his chin on his hand. "We investigate." He paused. "Peter Rand's name is on all four of these. Guess we should look at him first."

The six of them exchanged uneasy glances.

"His locker's next to mine," Seelix said. "I can look through it, see what I find?"

"Okay." Saul gathered up the lists and pocketed them. "We'll prepare our case."

**

Saul stuck to his quarters for the next few days. His work on the Circle was taking up most of his time, which gave him an excuse to avoid Bill. 

Bill was still bringing him meals, and they ate together, but Saul could barely meet his eyes, and Bill did most of the talking. Somewhere in his mind, he knew Bill was worried about him, and he felt bad about that—there had to be a point where Bill would stop tolerating Saul--but this was more important and had to take precedence. 

The Circle had to bring justice to all of those who had died on New Caprica and that was Saul's focus now. Bill had told him he could come back to work when he was ready, and Saul was taking advantage of that for now—he definitely couldn't tell Bill what his activities with the Circle consisted of.

Most importantly, Seelix had discovered hard evidence that Rand had been NCP—a mask in his locker.

"Why the hell did he keep it?" Tyrol asked, as they were looking at it lying on the table.

"Who the hell cares?" Saul muttered. "We have it, anyway." 

"So," Barolay said. "What do we do now that we know?"

"We do what the President told us to," Saul said. He hated referring to Zarek as the President, but it was true. "We give them a trial."

**

Charlie and Tyrol were dispatched to bring him in. They hadn't discussed it, but it went without saying that their courtroom would be the launch tube. Execution was definitely on the table. Saul pulled his keys out of his pocket and opened it so they could step in. None of them spoke.

"Well, here he is." Charlie shoved Rand's struggling form to the ground. They'd pulled the mask on backwards over his head and Saul pulled that off now. Rand looked around, panicked. 

"Get his hands and feet," Saul heard himself say, and Tyrol and Charlie descended on him.

"What the frak are you doing?" Rand sputtered. "Chief—what are you…?"

"We found this in your locker." Saul threw the mask at him. "We know what you were. You were working with the Cylons."

Rand's eyes went wide. "No! No, I wasn't! How could I?"

"That's what we'd like to know," Tyrol said coldly. "Were you the one who took Cally? Took my wife out of her bed, left my son to cry until I got home?"

Rand looked stricken. "What are you talking about? I never—"

"You're in no position to be lying to us," Saul barked. "We know you were NCP. We know you worked for the Cylons. You were there when I was in detention. I remember you!" 

Rand was crying now, sobbing and begging. Pathetic. 

Seelix launched into the speech they'd prepared. "Under Article 284 of the Colonial Justice Codes, you have the right to be tried by a Circle of your peers. The Circle has reviewed the evidence and reached a verdict. If found guilty of treason by collaboration, the sentence is execution." She looked at the others and swallowed hard. "Guilty."

"Guilty," Saul said.

"Guilty," Charlie echoed.

Barolay. "Guilty." 

Tyrol. "Guilty."

Anders. "Guilty."

Rand was pressing his body flat on the deck now, as low as he could get with his hands and feet bound. "Please… we're all humans here…"

"Yeah," Saul said, "well, you should've thought of that before you joined the New Caprica Police."

They filed out of the launch tube and Saul removed his keys. The door closed slowly, drowning out Rand's screams. "Who wants to do the honors?" 

"I will." Tyrol stepped up to the console and flipped off the safety switches. Rand seemed to have given up; he was just lying there on the floor. Saul imagined that if he'd been in the same position, he'd have at least tried to fight it a bit.

Tyrol swallowed hard; he seemed to be sweating.

"Do it, son," Saul said. "Do it for Cally."

"Right." Tyrol took a deep breath and slammed his hand down on the button.

This was far from the first time Saul had seen a man disappear into a vacuum of space but this was the first time he'd been deliberately responsible for his being there. He forced himself to keep looking as Rand's prone form was sucked out into space. This wouldn't be the last one, he was sure of that. There were a lot of names on those lists.

**

Over the next few days, Saul threw himself into gathering evidence and preparing cases. It was a good distraction, to keep his mind off everything that had happened. He was somewhat getting used to having one eye, but he kept finding himself running into things and people, which kept him in his quarters most of the time.

He had files on everybody, gathered documents assembled from various sources. He never thought he'd like Zarek's people but they were proving incredibly helpful at this. 

He never quite got used to watching men and women get sucked into space, but he dealt with it.

Today, the case he was reviewing was of Emil Higgs, who'd been turned in by his own partner, one of Zarek's men. He'd alerted the Cylons to a number of locations where the resistance was hiding weapons and Saul had spent the better part of three months trying to track down the leak. Now, he had him. They were going to try Higgs tonight.

"What're you doing?" 

Saul jumped. "Don't you knock, Bill?" 

"I did." Bill pushed the hatch the rest of the way open. "That sure doesn't look like nothing."

Saul gathered his papers into a stack and shoved them into a folder. "It's nothing," he repeated. "I'm late anyway." 

"Late for what?"

"Meeting." 

Bill looked skeptical. "Will I see you tonight?" he asked, with a smirk on his face. 

"Maybe," Saul said brusquely He didn't know Bill could joke around at a time like this.

"Well," Bill said, sounding hurt, "if you're ever willing to tell me what's going on…"

"I will, sure. Gotta go now, though." He gathered up his folders and headed for the hatch. Bill watched him, frowning.

**

Zarek's guys were late. Saul was getting agitated. They were the ones who'd turned Higgs in, they were the ones who'd brought forth the evidence resulting in the guilty verdict. 

He crossed his arms over his chest. "If they don't show…"

"They'll show," Barolay said. "He betrayed them. They hate him as much as we do." 

As if on cue, there was a commotion out on the hangar deck and the six of them stepped out of the launch tube. Two of Zarek's men had Higgs between them, cuffed but struggling.

"Get him in here," Saul growled. "And then get out of here."

"We want to watch," one of them said, letting Higgs drop like a sack of potatoes. "We want to see him go out."

Saul frowned. "Only authorized personnel…" 

"The President sent us," the other one said. "I'd say that's pretty authorized."

"Fine," Saul muttered. "Stay." He looked to the others. "Let's get this over with."

They ripped the mask off and Higgs looked momentarily dazed. Then, he fixed his attention on Saul. 

"You," he said in a low voice. 

Saul stared at him. What did he have with Saul specifically? "Seelix, you want to read him the statement?" 

Higgs never took his eyes off Saul the whole time they were going through the reading of the statement. 

"You," he growled when they'd proclaimed him guilty. "You set me up."

"You set yourself up," Saul said. "You gave the Cylons information that resulted in gods know how many of our people dying. Do you know how hard you made my job?" He grabbed Higgs by the front of his jacket and brought him up so they were eye to eye. "You're not just a traitor to your people, Higgs. You're a traitor to your _species_."

"Hey, Colonel." Tyrol put his hand on Saul's shoulder. "Let's just do this, okay?"

"Yeah, you're right." Saul let Higgs go and he hit the deck. "No point in wasting breath on this guy." 

They turned to leave the launch tube when Higgs started yelling. "You don't know what I know, Tigh. I know what you did." 

"Shut it," Saul told Seelix and the doors began to close. Higgs staggered over to the glass instead. 

"I was in detention, same as you, Tigh. I know you were working with them, telling them stuff. You told them where the rendezvous point was—guess you thought if you got caught you could let your wife take the fall." 

Saul shoved Seelix out of the way and began flicking switches. He'd like to take care of this guy with his bare hands, but he had to do it this way.

Higgs was banging on the glass now, still screaming. "Why don't you tell them, Tigh? Tell them all about how you even ripped out your own eye so it would look like _you_ weren't the traitor. It was _him_ , not me. He's trying to shut me up, now; he's going to shut _all_ of you up."

Saul slammed his hand down on the button. Higgs continued to scream for a few more moments but his words were drowned out by the rush of air leaving the launch tube. Then, he, too, was gone.

Saul sighed as the doors closed again and turned to face the others. "C'mon," he said. "Let's go."

**

"Sir?" Gaeta said. "Launch tube three just vented again." 

"Again?"

"It's been acting up—Chief says it's no big deal, if the inner doors are closed."

"No big deal?" Bill frowned. He looked around the room. "O'Leary, Matthias, with me. We're going down to make sure this is no big deal."

**

Tyrol and Anders were the first to leave. Saul was about to follow them when someone grabbed his shoulder.

"What?" he sputtered, turning around and seeing it was one of Zarek's guys. "What do you want?"

"I'd like a little clarification," he said. "Higgs said a lot of stuff."

"Higgs said a lot of crap and you know it. I thought you knew what all he was doing—that's what guilty men do when they're pleading for their lives, they lie."

Zarek's other man looked at Seelix. "You say we can try anybody who seems suspicious, right?"

"That's what it says," she said, though she sounded hesitant.

Saul looked at Connor. "Charlie, come on. Who was it that sat with you after they killed your boy? You know what side I'm on."

Charlie crossed his arms over his chest. "How do I know it wasn't you that killed him?"

"Are you all nuts?" Saul squirmed, throwing his gaze back at Seelix. "For the love of Athena, Seelix…"

"I did hear something," she said quietly. "Two of the Ones. Talking about you. It didn't make sense at the time but… they were talking almost like you were one of them…"

Saul felt gutted. What the frak was wrong with everybody? He was the one who was supposed to be in charge here.

"Get him in the tube," Charlie directed.

Together, Zarek's men dragged him through the very doors they'd just manhandled Higgs through. When they dropped him, he staggered to his feet, but one of them hit him hard, right above his good eye, knocking him back and making his vision go slightly blurry. Yeah, all he needed now was that…

"You're making a mistake," he snapped. "All of you. This has gone too far, when you start airlocking innocent men."

They were already filing out of the tube, closing the doors. Saul staggered to his feet and over to the window. He could see them in there, Seelix with his keys, turning the safety off. The alarms began to blare behind him. Nice warning that was. He blinked back the blood that was starting to drip from the cut on his forehead. He wanted to protest, do something, pray even, but he was too woozy.

He registered the outer doors opening, that familiar whine he associated with being about to be launched into space in his Viper, but he didn't have a Viper now. 

And then it was cold, like the bone-chilling wind on Aquaria and he was being lifted off his feet. 

Then, everything went black.

**

"Close the doors!" Bill barked as he strode into the control room of launch tube three. "Close them right frakking now."

Despite his order, he did it himself, eyes still on the responsible parties. Seelix and four civilians.

"Sir," Tyrol's voice came. "Open the inner doors! There's somebody in there!"

Bill did so, looking to make sure the Marines were taking them into custody. "Call for a medic," he heard Tyrol tell Jammer. Bill had a sinking suspicion as to who he'd find when those doors opened.

He just hoped he wasn't too late.

As soon as the doors had lowered enough for Bill to climb over, he did and then ran the length of the tube. Saul's ragdoll-crumpled body lay at the very end, a testament to how just in the nick of time Bill and the others had been.

Bill crouched beside his best friend, feeling for and not finding a pulse.

No.

Saul was covered in blood, from at least two places and Bill struggled to clear his airways. Not breathing.

He was just about to try what he remembered of his CPR when Ishay pushed him aside and started working on Saul.

"He's still alive," she told Bill, "but we'll have to move quickly."

Bill tuned her out as they got Saul on the stretcher and he followed them numbly to sickbay.

He knew in his heart this didn't look good but the last thing he wanted to admit was that Saul was likely dead.

Why would they try to kill him? Seelix and four civilians. It didn't make sense.

**

Saul's first thought upon waking was to wonder if he was dead.

At least, he was in a coffin.

A funny-sounding coffin.

Slowly, he opened his eye.

You'd think in Elysian, they'd give him the other eye back. That pretty much confirmed he was alive.

And he was in sickbay, in the hyperbaric chamber.

Everything hurt, especially his head and chest. Pretty much that whole top half.

And while he was at it, most of the bottom half.

Sleep sounded good now. Back to sleep.

**

Bill sat in his chair in sickbay, staring straight ahead, waiting for news. He didn't know who to be mad at. Zarek for doing this. Seelix for nearly killing Saul. Saul for participating in this mess. He just knew he had to find out if Saul was okay before he did anything else.

Cottle approached him, clipboard in hand. He sat down next to Bill, looking grim. 

"Any news?" Bill asked.

"Yeah." Cottle paused, as if composing himself. "He's still in pretty bad shape. We're putting him in the hyperbaric and that seems to be helping. He does have a number of injuries. There's a concussion, decompression sickness, and he's got a broken ankle. I'll tell you when we know more."

"Is he conscious?"

"He came to briefly just now, but we're being cautious. Brain damage is obviously a concern..."

Bill sighed. "Can I see him?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea right now."

Bill frowned. "Call me if there's any change."

"I will."

Bill left sickbay, but instead of going to his quarters, he went to the brig. He'd had them held, until he decided what to do with them, Seelix and the civilians. 

Helo was there when Bill reached the brig. 

"What do you need me to do, sir?" 

Bill smiled at his acting XO, grateful for his help. "Bring Seelix the interrogation room. I want to talk to her."

**

Bill waited outside for a bit before going into the room with her. Through the glass, he could see her head was down. _You better be feeling sorry for yourself_ , Bill thought. 

He opened the door and she looked up immediately. "Admiral Adama, sir, I—"

Bill didn't say anything. He strode over to the table and slammed his palms down on it, making her jump. "What the frak were you _thinking_?" he spat.

"I…" She shook her head. "I… I wasn't thinking, sir. I just got so caught up in the Circle. We all did and—"

"What's the Circle?"

She told him, voice shaking, everything from Zarek contacting the resistance, to the trials and executions they'd carried out. Bill listened, trying not to let his shock show. He wasn't sure who he was more angry at, but he was determined that somebody needed to take responsibility for this mess.

When she had finished, Bill turned to go.

"Sir?" she asked. "What's going to happen to me?"

Bill paused, hand on the door handle. "For now, you're going back to the brig. We'll worry about the rest of it later."

As soon as he stepped outside, he motioned to Mathias. 

"Pick a team," he said, in a low voice. "One you trust. Go over to _Colonial One_ and take Tom Zarek into custody."

**

"I assure you, Admiral, I was acting firmly within the bounds of the law."

Bill stared at Zarek across the conference table. He'd selected this for their meeting, rather than the interrogation room, though he still planned to have him taken to the brig. He hoped, though, that Zarek would realize the ramifications of this.

Zarek smiled. "Somehow, I doubt you'll have a case should you actually decide to try me—unless you plan on acting a judge, jury and executioner yourself."

"What are you talking about?" Bill asked.

Zarek opened his briefcase and removed a paper. Bill scanned it quickly. It was all about that Circle thing. "Seriously?"

Zarek gave him a placid expression.

"You had to know your time in office would be limited."

"Limited by what, Admiral? By your decision that I've worn out my welcome?"

"This can't go on." Bill slid the order across the table. "You know well as I do that if I showed this to the Quorum, they would impeach you." 

"I know that." Zarek paused, as if mulling his options. "That's why I'm planning to resign. I'll step down quietly, let Laura Roslin take my post and then things will return to the way they were before. You'll get your status quo."

Bill crossed his arms over his chest. "Why do this in the first place?"

"The people wanted justice. There's a divide among your people, Admiral. You'd never notice it from your position, but the fleet is split and always will be—those who were there and those who weren't." He gestured to indicate these two groups. "You weren't and I was. With all due respect, you don't know what it is to look at your neighbors and not know who is and who isn't a collaborator. You spent four months perfecting the rescue plan, the one that would get you accolades, get you medals. We spent four months starving, freezing, being tortured. You can't understand it if you weren't there, and the people want that recognized." 

Zarek stood and began gathering his papers. "I'll tender my resignation from _Colonial One_ , if that's acceptable."

"You do that," Bill said. He was going to go see if Saul was awake.


	3. Chapter 3

Bill approached Saul's bed cautiously, as if he was afraid of what he'd find there. 

Saul's eye was closed and he had a bandage around his head, in addition to the gauze bandage over his missing eye. 

Bill sat down next to the bed. "Hey," he said softly. 

Saul's eye opened. "Hey." He had an alarming amount of tubes stuck in him, but he was conscious, which was all Bill cared about right now. 

He was conscious and he (probably) recognized him. That was a good start.

"I don't want to ask you how you feel, but… how do you feel?"

Saul managed a weak smile. "I'm tired," he admitted. "But all in all… I'm okay." 

His voice sounded dry and he had an oxygen tube in his nose. Bill felt his heart skip a beat. He had come so close to losing Saul; just a matter of moments in that launch tube and Saul would've been gone. 

"I'm glad you're okay." Bill took his hand tentatively. He needed to touch him, needed to reassure himself that Saul was real, solid, alive. 

"I'm sorry, Bill." His voice was shaking and Bill's stomach tightened. What was he apologizing for?

"For what?"

"For all of this." He was looking at Bill warily. "I'm sure you know."

"About Zarek and the Circle?"

Saul just nodded. 

"Not your fault," Bill said softly. "What he did was legal. You were just trying to do the right thing."

"And I screwed it up, is what I did."

"You didn't," Bill insisted. He'd been ready to throw Zarek to the lions, but seeing Saul in such distress (the heart monitor's beeping wasn't very confidence-inspiring either) made him want to pull back. This was a mess of a situation, but if Zarek was at fault, he'd have to blame Saul just as much. 

He pressed the back of his fingers against Saul's temple. "You did what felt you had to, Saul. Nobody can blame you that. I've never been in your position. I can't judge."

Saul closed his eye and looked away. 

"Admiral, I think you'd better go," Cottle said, appearing next to him. "He needs to rest before we send him back in to the chamber."

Bill nodded. "Keep me informed."

**

Bill was in his robe, post-shower, trying to read, when Laura came in. He had intended to go back to his quarters and rest, but rest wasn't coming, not while Saul was in sickbay. He was glad to see Laura, to be able to have a friend to talk to.

"How are you doing, Bill?" she asked, sitting down beside him. 

Bill snorted. "Not me I'm worried about." He laid his book aside. "But I'm fine. Saul's fine. I went down there, just now, but they said he was asleep for the night." 

"It must be so hard for you to hear all this. It must come as an awful shock."

Bill sighed and contemplated his glass. "If I had _any_ idea he felt the need to do this…" 

"You can't beat yourself up about this," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "You're just making it harder on yourself."

"I just wish there was something I could have done." He took a swig of his drink. "Did you know? That there was this whole us-versus-them thing going on?" 

Laura paused.

Bill narrowed his eyes. "You did."

"I deal with civilians every day. I hear their problems. I know what they went to; I was there. Bill, you're here on _Galactica_ and—"

She was right. He sighed again and buried his head in his hands. "Everything really did change, didn't it?"

She rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, Bill, it did, but that doesn't mean you can't salvage what you have with Saul. He needs you, now more than ever."

Bill nodded. He'd do whatever he could to help Saul.

"I'm going to let Zarek go," he said softly. "I don't think we have a choice—he acted legally, and he agreed to step down peacefully. I'm going to let the other members of the Circle off, too. I think it's better if we start over with a clean slate and don't let what happened—"

"But, Bill, that's exactly the problem. You can't just tell people to forget something and have them do it. The people who were down on New Caprica will never forget what happened to them there. Saul will never forget it." 

Bill frowned. She was right again. "Then we'll have to do something," he decided. "We can't have these suspicions tearing us apart. That means the Cylons have won."

"I know." 

"Do you have any ideas?"

"Well, if Gaius Baltar hadn't run off with the Cylons, I would say we could try him, make him be…" She paused.

"The scapegoat?"

She gave a small smile. "Maybe. But, oh, it would make people feel better, Bill, to be able to share their stories for the public record, to make them feel like someone was listening, like someone cared."

"I'll think about it." He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "See what Saul wants." 

Laura laughed. "Oh, Bill."

He smirked. "I mean I'll talk to him about it first. Get his opinion before we do anything more. I definitely don't want to do anything until he's feeling better."

She nodded. "I think a lot of people need more time. I just don't want this Circle business to create a rift among the survivors of New Caprica. It's bad enough that there's a disconnect between those who were on the planet and those who stayed with the fleet… we can't have people suspecting each other. I'm confident that those who worked for the NCP had their reasons for doing so." 

"I know." Bill sighed and rubbed his upper lip. He couldn't go down and see Saul until the next morning, but he wanted to do it now. "I'll think on it."

Before she left, Laura kissed him on the cheek. "I'm thinking of him," she said. 

He squeezed her hand. "Thanks."

**

Saul opened his eye and sickbay gradually came back into focus. He hated looking at that ceiling. When would they let him go back to his quarters?

He felt fuzzy-headed, but he wasn't in pain.

There was somebody standing next to his bed. Ishay? He thought she'd just changed his IV. He turned his head slightly. No, Bill. 

Bill?

What would Bill want to do with him?

"How are you feeling?" The soft rumble of his voice confirmed that it was Bill.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey." Bill dragged a chair over and sat. "I talked to Cottle. He said you're doing better."

"Yeah, they took my O2 tube out this morning." 

"You look a bit better."

"I'm on _drugs_ , Bill."

He laughed. Thank the gods. "I bet you are." He took Saul's hand. "So I won't ask you how you feel. I'll just let you talk if you're feeling up to it."

Saul groaned. "Oh, Bill, I don't want to talk about it."

"Then don't." Bill stroked Saul's palm with his thumb. "We can talk about something else. Or just sit."

Saul was quiet. Then, he said softly, "What's going to happen to me?" 

"To you? You're going to get out of sickbay and get better."

"No, I mean…" Saul paused. "For what we did."

Bill's thumb stopped and somewhere in the haze, Saul tensed. Saul didn't like where this was going. 

"Oh, Saul," Bill finally said. "Nothing's going to happen to you."

"So what _are_ you going to do?"

Bill sighed. "I was thinking we might hold a hearing. No consequences. Just… the people who weren't there don't understand what the people who _were_ went through. _I_ don't understand." 

"Not everybody is going to want to go through that again."

"They don't have to, not if they don't want to." Bill paused. "There won't be any consequences either way. This is just for a matter of record. So history doesn't forget." He gave Saul's hand a gentle squeeze. "So _we_ don't forget."

Saul closed his eye. "I'm not sure I can, Bill."

"And you won't have to. But we can't have these rifts between our people like this."

"I know, I know."

"You should rest now," Bill pressed the back of his hand to Saul's cheek. "And I should get to CIC."

"Okay." Saul could feel the drugs starting to kick in. Sleep sounded good.

**

It seemed like Bill was there every time Saul was awake. It was comforting to have him, the one constant in Saul's life for thirty years. He'd changed jobs, changed partners, but Bill had always been there. 

Those months on New Caprica had been their only real, long separation since Saul had been reinstated in the Fleet, and he'd missed him very much. Knowing that Bill knew everything and still accepted Saul, still cared about him, meant everything. 

Bill was right there the day he was released, too, waiting to escort him back to his quarters with his crutches.

"I can do it," Saul muttered, as he made his way shakily to the door. Bill took his elbow.

"No," he said firmly. "I'm here."

Saul felt himself relax. He hadn't even realized he'd tensed up. 

"Where do you want to go?" Bill fell into step beside Saul, as he swung himself along slowly and awkwardly. "Do you want to go back to your quarters to rest? Or to mine and talk?"

"We can talk." Truthfully, Saul wanted to stay near Bill right now. He had a gentle solidness that Saul felt like clinging to. Nothing seemed certain except Bill. There was no way he'd _tell_ him that, but he was definitely thinking it. 

"Okay." Bill helped him on the stairs, which he was grateful for—there was no way he'd have managed on his own. His sprained ankle was bad enough, but with the missing eye, he was even more hopeless. He couldn't see Bill, there on his right side, but he could feel him, gripping Saul's arm firmly. 

"Just a little longer," Bill said. Saul sensed movement—he'd turned his head. "You've got an eyepatch."

"Yeah." Saul reached up to touch it with his free hand. "Cottle got it for me. It—the skin—it's more or less healed. So I guess I'll be wearing this now."

"It looks fine," Bill said. He paused. "How are you making out?"

"Better," Saul admitted. "I still can't see much on this side—can't see you, for example, but I'll adjust."

"Do you want me to get on your other side?"

"No, no, I want you on this side because of my bad leg." He paused. "I'm just all kinds of frakked up, aren't I?"

Bill leaned in close and slipped his arm around Saul's shoulders. For one wild second, Saul thought he was going to kiss him. "You're not frakked up," he said, and squeezed his shoulders in something approximating a hug. "You're Saul. And whatever you have to bounce back from, we will. Together."

**

Saul seemed glad to rest when they got to Bill's quarters and sat down on the couch with a grateful, tired sigh. "Getting too old for this."

"No, you're not," Bill said, as he went to get Saul a cup of coffee. "If you're getting too old for this, that means I only have five years left and I think I have more than five years left." 

After he brought Saul the coffee, he went to fetch an extra pillow from his closet so Saul could put his foot up on the table. He draped a blanket around his shoulders. 

"How do you feel?" he asked, when he finally sat down. 

"I feel okay. More or less." Saul shifted and unzipped his sweats top. 

"I was wondering if you'd be up to talking about what I had planned."

Saul nodded once. "Your hearing."

"You don't have to participate if you don't want to," Bill assured him. "It's just for a matter of record, so—"

"So history doesn't forget. Yeah, I want to do it."

"It's next week," Bill said gently, hoping Saul would be ready by then. "I'll take you down and stay with you if you like."

Saul nodded. "I think I'd like that." He took a sip of coffee and paused, a faraway look in his eye. 

Bill knew he had to find something else to do right away. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"A movie?"

"Yeah." Bill got up and went over to his closet. "I've got a whole box full of discs over here. All kinds. What do you feel like?" 

A smile spread across Saul's face. "Something old."

"Have that in spades. Here's an old one they made on Aquaria. _Adventure on the Ice_ , it's called." 

Bill set it up on the monitor and then settled on the couch next to Saul. It was comfortable, how they could just sit with each other like that, sipping coffee and watching an old movie. Somehow, the blanket wound up around Bill's shoulders, too, and Saul wound up leaning against his shoulder. Bill slipped his arm around Saul. Odd, how long they'd been friends and had never realized how good this felt. 

They stayed like that until after the movie was over. Bill got up to turn it off and when he got back to the couch, Saul said, "Bill? Got a minute?"

"Of course, Saul."

"I think I want to tell you what happened. On New Caprica. What happened to me, what happened to Ellen."

Bill sat down, draping the blanket more securely around both of their shoulders and let Saul talk. He didn't ask questions or say anything until Saul was finished. By the end, Saul was crying and Bill tentatively pulled him close.

"Well, there it is," Saul said. "That's what happened."

"You did what you had to," Bill said. Hesitantly, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Saul's forehead. "I can't blame you for that."

Saul hugged him back, clinging tightly. "Thanks, Bill." 

Bill patted his back. They sat like that for a while until Bill said, "If you want to stay here tonight, you can." 

"Yeah, I'll just settle in here." Saul looked ready to get comfortable. 

"No, take my rack."

"Then where will you sleep?"

"On the couch."

Saul shook his head. "No." He paused. "You wanna share?"

Bill frowned. "No reason why we couldn't." 

He let Saul go to the head first. Why was he so nervous?

It was something of a tight fit for the two of them and there was a lot of shifting before Bill slipped his arm under Saul's shoulders. "Better?"

"Better."

**

As the date of the hearing approached, Saul found himself spending more time in Bill's quarters. When he slept there, he found he didn't have nightmares and had an easier time falling asleep. He and Bill would stay up late, talking about the old days and other things, and then, he'd fall into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

The hearing snuck up on him, though.

That morning, Saul found himself in the head, staring at his half-shaven face in the mirror. 

"You okay?" Bill asked, sliding the door open a few inches. 

"Yeah. Yeah." Saul went back to shaving, but slowly. 

Bill opened the door the rest of the way and entered. "I'll be there," he said softly. "I'll be there the whole time."

"Along with a whole bunch of other people."

"Then just focus on me. Pretend you're just talking to me."

Saul swallowed hard and winced as he nicked himself on the side he couldn't see well. That was easier said than done. 

Bill handed him a paper towel and he blotted his face. 

"Keep in mind you don't have to do it," Bill added. "It certainly isn't mandatory." 

Saul splashed water on his face. "I know." He reached for his eyepatch and settled it in place. "I just feel like I have to say something, get it down on paper." He sighed. "Get it off my chest." 

Bill put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be there." He gave it a squeeze. "You gonna be okay getting down there on your own? I want to talk to the moderator."

"I'll be fine," Saul said, giving Bill a half-smile and going back to his shave. He finished his bathroom routine as he heard Bill leave and then gathered his crutches, headed for the hatch himself. He paused when he passed Bill's drinks cart. 

A little something to calm his nerves…

**

Bill was already sitting with Laura when Saul entered the hearing room. With a tight smile, he went to sit with the other people scheduled to testify.

Laura leaned over to whisper in Bill's ear. "How is he?" 

"Nervous."

"He's not the only one," Laura observed, reaching out to rub Bill's back. "Have you slept?"

Bill shrugged. "Saul couldn't. Kept tossing and turning." He paused, realizing what he'd just revealed. "I mean…"

Laura patted his shoulder. "He's very lucky to have you, Bill."

He wanted to correct her, tell her it wasn't what she was thinking, but the first witness was called to the stand and he didn't get the chance.

Throughout the others' testimony, Bill kept an eye on Saul. They were doing military members today and would be doing civilians the following day. Bill was glad for that, as it gave him a chance to sit next to someone he could talk to. 

Saul would be going last, since they were doing it alphabetically, which meant Bill would have a very nervous wait.

He could see Saul was nervous, too, tugging awkwardly at his dress uniform. 

Bill shifted with sympathetic nervousness and Laura put a hand on his arm. It was a long wait before Saul was called to the stand. 

It wasn't a formal trial, but a lot of the same procedures were being observed. Bill hoped the trappings wouldn't make Saul even more nervous. He knew how nervous he'd been that he would face some kind of charges himself, and he hoped the lawyer—who was called the moderator in this instance—wouldn't intimidate him. She'd had a tendency to do that to members of the resistance and those who had collaborated alike.

Saul began by telling his story, exactly as he had rehearsed it. Bill was proud of him for being able to hold on so well. He seemed shaky, though and he kept pausing to gather his thoughts.

The grief and pain was obvious in his voice and he had to keep stopping to take a sip of water from the glass on the stand. Bill could barely sit there and watch him, especially when it came time for the questions. He got through the first few all right, but then the moderator asked a tough one.

"Colonel Tigh, for the record, is it true that you collaborated with the Cylons?"

Saul froze, eye wide in a disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"There were some allegations following what happened to your wife. I wondered what you had to say about that."

Saul swallowed hard. Bill tensed. 

"Who says?" 

"With all due respect, Colonel, I'm asking the questions here." 

Saul stood up and ripped the microphone off. "I didn't collaborate. I know there were a lot of rumors flying around, but I did _not_ collaborate." He looked around the room, making eye contact with Seelix in the process. "I say that under the oath I swore on the sacred scrolls. I did _not_ betray my species." Then, with some difficulty on his crutches, he marched off the stand and out of the room.

Bill watched him go and turned back to Laura.

"Go get him," she said. "We'll talk later."

Bill couldn't find Saul in either of their quarters, nor in the supply closet like the one Saul had once liked to hide in to drink when they were on _Atlantia_. He finally found him on the observation deck.

"Hey," he said, closing the hatch and heading down the steps.

Saul grunted.

"Was looking for you."

"How much did I screw up?"

"You didn't screw up. She shouldn't have been asking you those things."

"Couldn't even answer that without frakking it up. Answer's no. I didn't collaborate."

"I know," Bill said soothingly. He sat down next to Saul and rubbed his back in small circles. Saul sank against him. "And you told them that. I'm just sorry I put you in that position."

"Not your fault, Bill. It's mine. I'm always the one screwing up and you're always the one picking me up again."

"Oh, Saul." He hugged him. "You're my best friend. You're smart and funny and I love being around you. Plus, I screw up plenty. I left you all down there. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

Saul pulled back, scowling at him. "What the frak is wrong with you, Bill? How can it be your fault? If anything, it's Baltar's fault, or—"

"See, Saul, there's no point in blaming anybody." Bill kissed him on the forehead. "What's done is done." 

"I know." Saul turned away and looked back out at the stars stretching out in front of _Galactica_. "Nothing I can do about it now."

There was nothing Bill could do either, just put his arm around him and let him cry.

**

Bill let another week pass before he posed the question of returning to work.

They were getting ready for bed when he decided to ask.

"How would you feel about going back to work?"

Saul paused, tanks halfway off. "Work?" he asked, as though Bill had just asked him how he'd like to go to the beach. 

"You certainly don't have to," Bill added. "Just… I miss you in CIC." 

Saul pulled his tanks off and tossed them away. "Sure," he said. "Going back to work sounds good. I mean, if you want me, that is. One eye, bum leg."

"The leg'll heal. We'll work with the eye."

The corners of Saul's lips twitched into a smile. "Thanks, Bill."

"Don't mention it. You’re my XO. You belong in CIC." 

Saul gave him a full smile as he settled into bed. 

"You okay?" Bill asked, noticing Saul wincing.

"Just my back a little."

"Here." Bill motioned for him to sit up. "Want me to rub it?"

"Sure." 

Eyelids lowered in contentment, Saul seemed to relax as Bill kneaded the muscles of his back. As he worked the knots out of his shoulders, Saul leaned into his touch, giving Bill permission to keep going. As he neared Saul's waist, Bill noticed Saul begin to list backwards, so he paused and wrapped his arms around his friend from behind, pulling Saul against his chest. Somehow, it just felt natural.

"Early morning tomorrow," he said. "Better get some sleep."

"Yeah, you're right." 

Together, they lay down and Bill reached up and turned off the light, noting that Saul didn't move to distance himself. He settled his arms around Saul, pausing for a moment, but Saul didn't move. He was asleep. Bill smiled and let himself drift off to sleep. 

Yes, this felt right.


End file.
